What depression feels like

Content warning: depression and suicide 

The days pass by like flecks of dust in the wind.

Every particle clings onto some part of me

Rips off a bit of skin and flesh 

I’m dissolving into the storm

Smile, smile, laugh, smile, smile again 

till the skin peels off my face

Fleck by fleck, you start to see all my teeth

My jawbones and empty eye sockets

Brittle wobbling wind-blanched bones

Tell me I’m smart, tell me I’m pretty, 

Tell me you love my exposed skeleton

as it falls for you 

and collapses at your feet 

once the wind stops. 

Now you pick me up 

Put the pieces into an urn 

Tell them how beloved, how intelligent I was,

how I made everyone laugh,

how much promise I had, 

how you never saw it coming.

Eulogize, proselytize,

Preach, my sisters and brothers,

Put me on a parapet 

even though you never loved me 

till I was just bones.