[Poetry] For Pyres and Arsonists
I’m afraid that my niece will fetishize sacrifice
Like her mother
And her mother’s mother.
That she’ll equate her pain with love.
The longer she hurts, the longer they’ll stay.
She’ll think that if she’s happy
Then she’s doing something wrong.
I’m scared she’ll give everything up,
Just to prove that she’s willing,
And hope that they see that as loyal.
She’ll cry at the drop of a dime,
And risk everything in her anger,
Because that’s how you tell them, “don’t leave,”
My niece will think men-
If she loves men-
Are like business investors.
She’ll have to convince them she’s worth it.
“Stick around and it pays.”
My niece will burn
And think that that’s passion.
My niece will be oil-
Because that’s how she’ll cling.
My niece will be the sun-
Because she always comes back,
And if she doesn’t,
It means that she’s dead.
I’m afraid that my niece will idolize sacrifice.
Like her father
And her father’s father.
She’ll equate her destruction with love.
If they don’t take your shit, they don’t care.
She’ll blame them when she cheats.
She’ll blame them when she leaves.
She’ll have one foot out the door at all times,
And be waiting for a reason to stay.
She’ll take advantage of obsessions,
And drain them ‘cause she can.
She’ll think everyone’s out to get her.
She’ll drop them when they have no more to give.
She’ll drop them when they want reciprocation.
She’ll drop them when they ask for love.
She’ll drop them when they ask for decency.
She’ll drop them like trash,
And then she’ll pick them back up
Because she ran out of options- and rent.